


Exploration of self and body

by SapphicAndSarcastic



Series: The Life chronicles of Robin S [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Choking, Crack Fic, Edging, Established Relationship, Fingering, First Time Fingering, Gay Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Self-Fuck, Solo, Visual, bad comedy attempt, botched orgasm, caught masturbating, fear of Hell, first time masturbation, interruptions, learning to masturbate, m/m - Freeform, odd shopping list, probably not that accurate, religious shaming, ruined orgasm, self asphyxiation, self pleasuring, very sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 22:44:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicAndSarcastic/pseuds/SapphicAndSarcastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel has always been told not to touch himself for sinful purposes. After catching his boyfriend in the act, he lightens up and tries it. After a few mishaps he finally gets it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exploration of self and body

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know the ins-and-outs of the male orgasm, for I am a sexually inexperienced lesbian adolescent. It intrigues me though. Also I mean no offense to anyone.

Gabriel came home; taking his shoes off at the door, hanging up his keys, and walking back to the bedroom to grab a sweatshirt. The door was closed so he knocked gently. After getting no reply after the third time knocking, he pushed open the door to find Robin arching into himself and biting his lip. Gabriel's jaw fell slack, simultaneously grateful for and loathing of the sheet covering his slightly sweaty and very naked boyfriend about 20 feet from him. He snapped his eyes shut and squeaked in distress.

  
"Don't you knock?"

  
"....I did knock."

  
"Oh."

  
"Oh."

  
Gabriel peered through his hands, watching Robin's lithe hands cover himself to a decent extent and take a casual drink of water. Robin's voice brought him out of his thoughts and back to his flustered self. "How was your day?"  
Gabriel lowered his hands, still in a state of shock, but moving on to curiosity and mild fear. "It was good, yours?" Robin ran a hand through his hair, shifting to sit comfortably against the pillows. "Pretty good, the subway was super crowded though, and I...are you doing okay there?" Gabriel raised his eyes to Robin's still flushed face. "I-I uh...what?"

 

"I asked if you were okay?"

  
"Umm, I think so," Gabriel squinted worriedly at Robin, "Are you okay?"

  
"What? I-yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

  
"You can still, like, see...?"

  
"Well yeah. I-what...oh I get it." Robin shook his head and laughed softly. "Gabriel, that's a myth. No one has ever actually gone blind from doing that." Gabriel frowned, "Oh yes they have! Mama once told me that even if you don't go blind, the Lord is always watching...and he ain't like it when we think things like that."

 

"Like what?"

  
"You know, lust-thoughts. The Whores did anyway and look where they ended up!"

  
"Babe, I don't think he really cares all that much-if that were the case, I would be very damned indeed...besides, that's totally normal."

  
"Is not!"

  
"Come on! I'm sure you've had your fair share of thoughts...dreams at least." Gabriel gasped, "you know about the night-turners too?"

  
"Night-turners?"

  
"The night-turners! Those are the demons that sneak into your dreams and make them sinful. If you don't wake yourself up in time, you might get turned!"

  
"No, no that's not a thing. That's a-nevermind. Anyways, it's totally normal...actually it's considered to be healthy for your heart and mental health." Gabriel looked at him it's disbelief but sat down on the bed next to him, intrigued. Robin smiled at him, "I can assure you, you're not going to get, like, struck down by lighting if you do."

  
"I know that, it's just...I've always been told that, doing...you know...that, is really bad and Satan will come for your soul, and I don't want that!"

  
"No one is going to come for your soul if you jack it. Literally, that's not a thing. I think anyone who does care needs to focus on more important things in the world."

  
Gabriel cringed at his crude language, but continued to listen until Robin decided he wanted to eat and go back to sleep.  
"Can I ask you one more question?" Robin shrugged, tugging his pajama shirt over his head. "Sure." Gabriel paused for a second, biting his bottom lip gently, "Why do it? Mama always told me people do it to purely...well...to spit in the face of God..but maybe that's not the case." Robin blushed lightly, but certainly not for the first time that evening. "It..it feels really good."

  
"Oh. I suppose that makes sense then."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
(About a week and many wikihow articles later)

Robin was shaken awake around 6 in the morning by Gabriel, frantically telling him something. Robin grumbled and opened his eyes. "Mpmmph, what?"

  
"I need you to go to the store and get some stuff." Robin glared at him, "Can it wait?"

  
"No. I need these like, right this very second." Robin grumbled and swatted at the long grocery list pushed into his face. "Ok, ok, chill. I'm going." Gabriel gave him an innocent smile and kissed his cheek, "Thank you! You're a life-saver!" Robin glanced at the list, scanning and frowning at the bizarre items. "Gabriel, what on earth do you need 'a copper locket from 1843' for?"

  
"Souvenirs for the family. Exactly from 1853."

  
"It says 1843."

"Yeah, that's what I said."

  
"Yeah, okay." Robin slipped into an overly large sweatshirt and rubbed his eyes blearily. "How long do you think it'll take to find all that stuff?" Robin shrugged, eyeing the list, "Probably all day."

  
"All day huh, yeahokaysoundsgreatbye!" Robin raised an eyebrow at Gabriel's strange behavior but headed out anyway to find the many specific oddities he'd been assigned to find.

Gabriel sighed with relief as he heard his footsteps receding. _I would hate for him to see me do this._ He checked the door handle to ensure that it had locked and walked shakily to the bathroom. He turned on the water and locked the bathroom door before turning off the lights. He opened the blinds on the small window to let in the morning light to see what he was doing. He sighed and closed his eyes. Gabriel checked the water temperature and stepped into the bath, closing the curtains and engulfing himself in almost complete darkness. Only shadowy movements could be seen from his perspective and he let that relax him a little bit.

  
He forced his hand to shift downwards, blushing furiously and repeating Robin's words in his head. _This is normal_. _This is fine_. _This is-_ Gabriel startled himself as his hand brushed the area he had avoided since he turned eleven. _Oh my gosh, I can't do_ _this, I'm literally going to burst into flames right now_. Gabriel sighed, making himself take another deep breath. _I'm not a_   _quitter._   _Okay_... He let his hand drift back to a mostly comfortable spot. His eyes squeezed closed in synch with his hand. A small involuntary gasp escaped his mouth before he wrenched his other hand to cover it. He peeked through one eye to make sure that he had not been sent to Hell, and upon seeing no flames or brimstone he deemed it safe to continue.

  
He knew well enough how the motions were supposed to go, and what to picture, but he had no idea of what to expect or what to feel. _This just feels...weird. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?_ _Is there a wrong way to do it?...I saw Robin_ _do it, for a second anyways_. Gabe frowned in concentration, trying to recreate the movements he had observed from Robin. He pictured Robin in that moment; his back arching off the bed, his hands buried under him in the sheets, gripping and twisting them, his bottom lip between his teeth, the soft moans and they way he would writhe under his own hand, how he- _Oh. Oh, this is new. This is a good new._ Gabriel heard a small groan echo in the steamy air. _Was that me? I-oh, ohmygoshohmygosh._ Gabriel's thought's blurred together, his arm shaking and loosening by its own mind. He tensed once before the strange feeling ebbed away, leaving him confused and frustrated in the cooling water.

  
Gabriel growled angrily and dunked his face under the water. _I almost had it...I think_. He sighed as he stepped out of the bath and began drying himself off. Gabriel checked the clock and mentally chastised himself for spending an hour in of his morning in the bathroom...and wasting it.

  
He made his morning tea and cereal. Robin's not going to be back for at least five hours, at least. _Maybe I could look it up and_ _see what I did wrong_. Gabriel nodded in agreement with his idea and shuffled over to his laptop. He settled himself on the couch with his cereal balancing precariously on the edge of the coffee table. He opened the laptop and began typing.  
After about half an hour and way too much information later, he slammed his computer shut and covered his fiery blush in his hands. _I don't think I can ever unsee that...but I think I have something to work with_...He stood up and carried his laptop to the bedroom. He made sure the door was closed, but something in the back of his mind didn't let him lock it...the idea that Robin could possibly find him so open like that tickled him a little. Obviously Robin wouldn't be home for a while, but he still liked the idea in theory.

  
Gabriel sat himself on the bed and reopened his browser. 'Deviants to self-ple' the link he was searching for popped up and spared him the little dignity he held for Google. He clicked on the website, resigning himself to try everything he deemed as safe to achieve his rather adolescent goal. The first on the on the alphabetical list was 'asphyxiation: the state of depriving oneself of oxygen.' Why the hey would anyone do that, that seems a little dangerous...it doesn't sound horrible though. Gabriel scrolled down to C, his gaze falling on the blue lettering. 'Choking; oneself via fingers or inanimate aide.' Gabriel tilted his head at that idea and clicked the link hovering over the word. He was whisked to another article was accompanied by an explanatory gif. He watched the gif serval times, feeling himself squirm a little and clicking away again.

  
After exploring the rest of the alphabet, he decided to try again. _If I'm gonna do this, I might as well go all the way_. He shifted his body up and covered himself with the comforter before delving his hand below his waistband. He allowed his eyes to close, going at a slow pace to let his body adjust to his mindset. After a few minutes, he became more aware of a sort of building feeling. Gabriel jerked the fingers unintentionally, edging him so much closer to what he had been working on all morning to achieve. Just as he felt himself tip over the edge, a loud thunk on the window startled him out of the blissful trance. He yelped, jumping back into a sitting position. After sitting still and silent for a moment, he concluded that he wasn't caught or dead. He walked over the window and looked out from between the curtains to reveal a dazed pigeon stumbling around on the garden box below. He glared at the pigeon, very peeved that the damned thing had ruined another chance. Gabriel groaned and banged on the window, scaring the pigeon away. _I really hate birds._

  
Gabriel grumbled a few not-so-Catholic words and retied the strings of his sweatpants. I suppose maybe I should try something else...maybe after lunch though.

  
He picked up his phone, turning it to see the lock screen lit up with various levels of increasing confusion from Robin. He giggled and opened iMessage, scrolling through Robin's findings...and therefore lack of.

  
'Where does one find a Roman coin worth 6 pesos?' (7:10)

  
'The heck is a keg of help ail?' (7:58)

  
'Nevermind, I figured it out...still can't find it tho' (8:04)

 

'Babe, who in your family needs a gerbil foot?' (8:30)

  
'I found a gerbil foot! It might be a rabbit actually, but it's a foot!' (8:56)

  
'I actually found a copper locket from 1843...it was at that quant little bookstore down town, they were having an antique jewelry special-crazy right?' (9:23)

  
'Okay, I found most of the stuff, I still need to pick up the sea glass, but I'll be home in maybe 45 minutes' (9:41)

  
Gabriel checked the time on his phone, 9:55. _Okay, I have at least thirty minutes to figure this out_. He ran his hand through his hair, and set his mind to get this. He opened the window and waved all the birds away before he walked back to his laptop in the bedroom. _Maybe I'll try the other method I saw_. Gabriel blushed at the though, his filters switching back on. He shook his head to clear the embarrassment. _Thirty minutes, I can do this._

  
He snuggled himself between the sheets and reached out for the aid he had observed Robin use, silently thanking his physically obsessed partner for his convenient placement. He mentally went through the steps he needed to go through and closed his eyes. He stilled his impatient breathing and shifted his legs apart. He used his new found skill to distract himself from the discomfort of the very new sensation he was inflicting on himself. He moved his index finger with more strength than he needed, causing it to jam inside. He yelped and froze. _Oh that was weird. Not bad, but very strange_. He wiggled his finger more, exploring deeper. After finding that it didn't hurt so much; he pushed another finger alongside the first one, wincing at the pressure. He took a few deep breaths and scissored them like he had read to do so. He grimaced the whole time but eventually found himself relaxing into the motion.

  
Gabriel moved his sore arm at another angle to rest and cried out as he brushed something. He tentatively repeated the movement, finding the nerve he had hit. He rubbed against it harder, feeling his lower abdomen tense at each touch. He twisted his fingers, hitting the spot head on and biting on his lower lip to keep from making any noise. After a few more moments of direct stimulation, he found himself arching his back, letting his hair barely brush on the pillow. His legs quivered to hold his body in place. He vaguely thought of Robin in the exact position, the image of his flushed face and messy hair sent Gabriel to find the end result of his whole day's efforts.

  
He sank down into the covers and allowed his eyes to close as a sudden wave of fatigue washed over him. _Hah! I figured it_ _out...no wonder Robin spends so long in the shower, I would too_. He grabbed a tissue and cleaned himself off his stomach. Gabriel crawled out of bed to shower, sighing as he came down from his endorphin high.

After Gabriel finished cleaning himself up, he curled back into bed and falling into a peaceful nap.

  
Robin came home to find all the lights off and the bedroom door shut. He smirked to himself and put the bag of oddities on the table. Giggling, he tiptoed into the bedroom. Gabriel was curled up and sleeping, obviously spent and still flushed. Robin smiled and gently kissed his forehead. He wiped off Gabe's hand and watched him mutter something in his sleep.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Gabriel woke up to Robin playfully tugging on his hair. Gabriel mumbled a sleepy 'good morning' and nuzzled uncharacteristically close to Robin. Robin laughed, "It's not morning, it's like 6 in the evening." Gabriel opened his eyes, remembering his previous activity and blushed profusely. _Does he know? There's no way he could know. Oh my Gosh I bet he_ _can smell it on me! Oh dear_...Gabriel frantically sat up and pulled away from Robin. Robin smirked at him teasingly. Oh yeah, he knows. "How was your nap"

  
"It was fine, thank you." Gabriel pulled the covers up further, clutching them by his collarbone. Robin nodded, "Do you feel sick, dear?"

  
"No. I had a headache. That's all."

  
"Well I'm glad you found a way to cure it." Robin winked at him and stood up. Gabriel scowled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

  
"Nothing. I'm just glad you got some...rest." Robin winked at him again, giggling at his flustered reaction. Gabriel blushed he deeply, muttering at Robin to go away. Robin leaned in and kissed him deeply, bowing his head and nipping a Gabe's ear. "Told you so." Robin turned and headed to the kitchen before he could catch his response.


End file.
